An independent voice for ethical adoption
Letter from a Board Member: Protecting the Right of Parents to Raise Their Children
Recently in Michigan, the Court of Appeals ruled that Cody, the child of Kenneth Barnett and Christine Wolfe, should remain with his biological parents. Cody had been placed for adoption with another couple but the adoption was never finalized and Barnett never consented. Over the course of several years, the child bounced between the two homes and lived a double life. As Barnett put it -he spent three years of his life with two homes, two names, two schools, two religions, two families and nobody could stop and say wait a minute, let’s put an end to this.
This case illustrates the importance of several ethical concerns regarding adoption. The one that is most striking for me is the protected right of parents to raise their children. In this case and cases similar to it (Anna Mae He, Baby Jessica) there seems to be a feeling among prospective adoptive parents that considering adoption implies consent. An adoption is not a transfer of property. Once the child is born parents may change their minds or see the situation differently. As Christine Wolfe put it “I wanted the best for him and I thought I was doing the right thing and it wasn’t.†By considering adoption as an option for her and her child, Christine Wolfe entered into a legal custody dispute that cost her not only $225,000 but three years of her son’s childhood. By what law was she denied her right to raise her child? By what standard was she held to determine her fitness as a parent? Every day women give birth to children and walk out of the hospital free to raise them as they see fit. But if there was a consideration of adoption it is assumed that the mother is not capable and that that child will be better off placed with an adoptive family. In cases such as these it is essential that the courts (and prospective adoptive families) recognize the importance of consent and revocation and are sensitive to the emotional nature of birth and parenthood. Considering adoption does not make you a bad parent.
Having said all that, I can understand how heartbreaking losing Cody must have been to the prospective adoptive parents. While I cannot see the logic in pursuing custody of a child that is not available for adoption, I certainly understand that emotions are not always logical.
Families (all families) are the cornerstones of our society and therefore family preservation must be a priority. The first choice for every child should be to be raised by his/her natural family. Considering adoption as an option for your child, without consent or finalization, should not result in protracted court battles that place the child in a situation of upheaval and instability.
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