An independent voice for ethical adoption
Adoption Is Not the Only Way to Help a Child
Ethica launched a fundraising campaign this week in response to the Madonna adoption case. We have received numerous positive comments back from many people, as well as donations for the cause of keeping Mercy with her family in Malawi. Thanks to those folks who got involved with our call to action.
We received some impassioned comments from other folks as well. One said: “Madonna has given huge amounts of money to improve the lives of the children in Malawi and she also feels drawn to this one child that she wants to share her life, home and future with. The child will be much better in a real family and one has stepped up to bring her home. I hope Madonna gets to have her as a daughter. I think you should leave this alone.”
Here is my answer to this type of reasoning: My son’s school is in deep budget crisis due to the major deficit in our Arizona Government. I certainly hope that no celebrities step up and donate money to fix our economic issues in the school he attends and notices him sitting at his desk learning, because if all it takes to “earn” another person’s child as your own is to help lots of other children, then we are all in trouble. I’ve got a pretty cute kid and someone might want him to be their child and I’m not willing to give him up for the benefit of better funding for his school even if that person can buy him lots more stuff than I can or can educate him at more expensive schools than I can. Hopefully our legislators will fix our budget crisis another way.
I support adoption. I think it must be available as an option for kids who do not have the option to be raised by their families. International adoption should be available for kids who cannot be raised in their countries. First though, we must have laws that govern the process. We must be certain that we are helping the kids who need help…those who have no other options. For every child who is adopted there are no doubt others who never find homes. If there is no structure to the process, no laws to be followed, then how can we make sure that the children being served are the ones who most need it? It has been widely reported that Mercy James has a grandmother as her guardian. She has two uncles involved in her life. They do not want her to be adopted. According the reports they want to parent her and plan on being able to do so soon.
The purpose of Ethica’s fundraiser is to illustrate that while one person might spend tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child, a fraction of that money would permit a child to remain in her family. Shouldn’t this be society’s goal?
Not to disregard the desire of adopting parents to adopt…but if we support the families who can care for their own children, and protect those children from being offered up with no controls, then Madonna or any other prospective adoptive parent hoping to adopt are left free to work within established adoption programs to adopt children who truly need a family.
We must look at what part money plays in adoption and how it affects the criteria we believe must be met before a child is adopted:
- The child is a true orphan with no family (including appropriate
extended family) - The child cannot find appropriate, permanent, in-country care in a family-like setting
- There is an established system for intercountry adoption in the country of origin
I think I’ll go check on my son’s school and make sure no one is there with a big checkbook.
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