An independent voice for ethical adoption
Wealth, Poverty and the Child’s Best Interests
It’s interesting how the public is drawn into celebrity adoptions and is beginning to explore the complex issues surrounding wealth, poverty, and how they play into building or in some cases, the need to rebuild families. I live in Michigan and work as a social worker here. Ironically enough, Michigan is also Madonna’s home state. Food banks are scrambling to meet the demands of hungry families and the state has the highest unemployment rate in the country. Now more than ever we can empathize with struggling families and the terror that comes with the need to feed and care for our children. Now more than ever we can empathize with the daily realities of families in developing countries. Most of us would recognize that tearing a family apart and institutionalizing our children, or placing them into adoption, would be a last resort. Yet, many of us are ready to condemn a Malawian grandmother for fighting to keep a child when it seems like the child’s best interests can be met by a wealthy stranger.
The cycle of poverty is a brutal thing. It wreaks havoc on families and communities here and around the world. But even in the darkest moments, we have each other and our loved ones to look to. Our children give us hope and the cliché that they are our future is a somber reality in countries like Malawi where the adult population has been decimated by poverty and disease. Is it selfish to want to create a country’s future with all Malawian children, even orphans? Can one child make a difference if she stayed instead of leaving the country?
These are difficult questions for the families involved in this adoption and for child welfare advocates. For the public and international adoption community, it’s worth remembering that these are questions are posed by adoptees as well. They know that adoption cannot be characterized as a selfless act because the process involves loss and fulfillment all at once. A family, community, and country loses a child while another family fulfills their dream to parent. Most importantly, we need to recognize that the greatest loss is a child’s ability to have a voice in the process. We forget that these babies and toddlers will become adults. Hopefully we’ll be prepared to be held accountable for our actions and assumptions that somehow, one family is better than another when in fact, families include communities and in this case, a grandmother waiting to bring her little one home.
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