An independent voice for ethical adoption
Why “Birth Parent”
Birth parents. First parents. Natural parents. Biological parents. There is much controversy about what to call the first parents of children who are placed for adoption. Many terms exist, and all seem to be liked by some and hated by others. The challenge Ethica faced as an organization was picking one term to use consistently. Ethica has chosen to use the term “birth parents” in our written statements. We have given great thought to this decision, and feel we have made a difficult choice in the quest for a term that is the most encompassing and the least restrictive.
First let us say that we do not call a parent considering adoption anything other than a parent or an expectant parent. We feel strongly that any use of the term birth parent in that instance demeans the parent and potentially limits the choices they are able to make.
We also considered the reasons that many like and dislike each choice. “Natural parents” is a term that is often used or suggested, and we have no issue with it. Indeed, in a perfect world, all children would be raised by their natural parents. We do not believe that calling the birthparents of a child natural means adoptive parents are “unnatural”, but we know that some do.
“Biological parents” is a term we see used quite often, and while it is technically correct, there is really more to being the birthparents to children than just biology. This is especially true where they parent the children for some time prior to adoptive placement, or where intentional placement indicates great care and planning on the part of the parents toward the child, and would include the care and bonding with the child for at least the gestation period. Therefore, we find that “biological” greatly diminishes the role of the birth parent.
“First parents”, or “original parents” are also used, and while we have no issue with those terms, they can tend to be confusing, especially in the written word. In addition, when there might be other caregivers between birthparents and adoptive parents, the terms can be confusing. The logical question following “first parent” for foster and adoptive parents is “what number am I?”
Birth parent is the term of choice by most in the adoption community, although we understand that many parents would rather be referred to as “first” or “natural” parents. We believe that the term “birth parent” encompasses far more than the biological function of birth, but rather speaks to the care and nurturing, and the intimate connection, that accompanies the birth of a child. Birth parent is also not a term that is limited by time, nor does it imply that birth parents have only biological function. Therefore, while difficult to find a term that truly speaks to the various issues implicated in a term, we chose “birth parent” because it is the most accepted, and least objectionable, choice.
Ethica believes that empowerment of every member of the adoption triad will bring about change and improvement in the ethics of adoption. We hope our term of choice empowers, or at least does not disenfranchise, these vital members of the adoption triad.
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